God Here, I Have Something to Say

Have you ever had a moment where you knew, straight up beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was talking and confirming all the whispers you knew you were hearing all along, just to let you know that YES, you are on the right path, YES, that was me whispering, NO you are not forgotten!
If you are reading this you likely read my last post, Bloom Where You Are Planted.  Well, today I'd like to share something that was total confirmation in a way that gave me goosebumps.  It comes from the blog of Meredith Andrews, one of my favorite Christian worship artists.  She was writing about her experience of winning her first (two) Dove Awards this year...and finding out while in her pajamas at home feeding her baby.  This is what she wrote at the end of her post:

I share this with you not because I seek congratulations or accolades, for God has used this honor to bring about in me a renewed humility and gratitude, and I am again reminded that my only boast is in the cross. I say all this to encourage YOU, wherever you may be in your life. God has not forgotten you. He hasn't changed His mind concerning you. Romans 11:29 says, "God's gifts and his call are irrevocable." Philippians 1:6 says that we can be confident of this: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." He will see you through. He will finish what He started in you. And in me. We can be sure of it.

So let's continue to bloom where we're planted and be faithful in small things. Let us press in to know Him, to seek out His heart and pursue His presence. May our complete and every day surrender be the natural response to His life laid down for us. For as I was reminded by a good friend recently, we can never out-give the Giver. We can never out-do God. He is always standing by, ready to teach us, ready to bless us, ready to lavish His love upon us as a Father lavishes love on His children, not because we are deserving, but simply because He is good.

Bloom Where You Are

So lately I've kind of felt like I've been in a holding pattern in a lot of areas in life...lots of possibilities, but no real actualities.  Anybody who knows me knows it makes me nuts to "live in limbo".  I like decisions, realities, even if they are not decisions or realities that I particularly like.
One of the things that I've been pondering is this feeling like I need to stretch, like I've somehow outgrown my little corner or something.  Wondering what the next thing is.  But in the process, I forgot something important...everything God does is on purpose.  Where ever we are in life or even in actuality (right now I am in my living room), is on purpose.
We are not called to merely sit here and just kill time waiting for the "next big thing" or adventure.  No.  I saw a sign today driving home from my daughter's dentist appointment.  Like I said, there is nothing coincidental.  It simply said "Bloom Where You Are".  It caught my attention in a big way.  Whenever we start to think we have grown to small for the space we're in, and get caught up in what ISN'T happening in our lives, we are merely taking up space and wilting where God called us to bloom.  He is the gardener.  He is going to place us in the perfect space to do the blooming and growing.  He is not going to place us somewhere where we don't have enough room to do the amount of growing we need; on the contrary, He will put us in the perfect place.  If we are willing, He has called us to bloom where we are.
And if you are thinking, "Yeah, but..", consider this...have you ever considered picking a seed?  Or a sprout? Or a wilted flower?  I'm guessing not.  But how often has a beautiful rose in bloom caught your eye?  Or that adorable daisy patch made you want to pick one?  They all bloom in different places.  But yet it's the full grown ones that catch our eye, that we want to pick.  If you don't bloom where you are, how are you going to catch anyone's attention?

And the attention we should be after, by the way, is that of the Gardener.  Oh how He longs to revel in us; oh, how we long to be reveled over, to be noticed and admired.  The only way to accomplish all of this is to bloom where you are.  :)

Heavy Lifting

So, any of you who follow me online, particularly on facebook, will know that I started a new workout routine a little over two weeks ago (the power 90 series for those who are interested).  I love it, I'm doing great, and I'm already looking and feeling a whole lot better.
Now, interestingly enough, my pastor told a story on Sunday that not only caught my attention and really got me to thinking.  He was talking about lifting weights in correlation with the the burdens we face in life that seem to get increasingly heavy with each subsequent trial we face.
Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest".  The next couple of verses go on to say that we instead take on Christ's yolk, which is light.
But here's the point the pastor made, and that we often don't think about...in order for us to come and trade our burdens for Christ's yolk, we must first pick them up and give them to Him.
Now, if you are like me, chances are you have in the past or are currently looking at a situation or burden in life and feeling rather discouraged right now, because there is no way that you can imagine picking up this thing at all, much less picking it up and putting it down at Jesus' feet.  And if you are like me at all, you have or maybe still are asking why the burden was given to you in the first place.
Well, let's go back to exercising.  Part of my "routine" two nights a week involves strength training.  And one of the exercises involved is called a bicep curl.  I have to pick up the weights, then bring them back down.  Repeatedly.  But along the way, I got good at picking up and putting down those cute little two pound weights I bought for myself.  It was no big thing anymore, and I was stronger than the weights I was using.  So this week I had to switch to my husband's ugly (sorry babe) five pound weights.  They are big, black, and mean looking.  I can add more weight to them as I go.  And this week, I curled a bigger weight.  Yup, that hurt a bit.
The same is true with our trials.  There is a reason they seem to get easier, and then WHAM!  The next one looks ridiculously hard.  Guess what?  Those trials are not there out of meanness.  God is not punishing you.  But in the process of picking them up to lay them down at His feet, guess what they are doing?  Yup, those mean old trials are making you stronger!  Stronger in faith, stronger in confidence, stronger in conviction.
I Peter 5:10 says:  "And the God of all grace, Who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast".  
The thing is though, the trick is to pick them up, then lay them down (at His feet).  If I were to pick up that 5lb weight, curl it up, and then never lay it back down, I could and likely would hurt myself.  The same is true with our trials.  We were never meant to pick them up and hang onto them.  We were meant to pick them up, to lay them down, and in the process be made stronger, firmer, steadfast.  And the best part is if we obey in the lifting and laying, we don't even have to worry about choosing the wrong size weight, because God promises that He will not give us more than we can bear.  (I Cor. 10:13).
So the next time you face a trial, and it seems like to much for you, remember, He chooses the weight; He always chooses the right weight for where we are at in our journey.  You were made for this; pick it up, lay it down, and just see what God will do!

New Song teaser...and a quick update

Okay, so some of you know I've been working on a new song that has taken me a while to get together.  Not so much because I didn't know exactly how I wanted it to sound, but BECAUSE I knew exactly how I wanted it to sound and it has taken some serious work on the keyboard skills to get it close enough to share.  I'm still learning as I go on the keys, and while I've definitely gotten better, I still sometimes hit that hump where what I hear in my head and my actual skill set don't exactly match up.  It's taken lots of work and practice to get to this point (here's hoping my family isn't sick of this song yet lol).
This song is also deeply personal to me.  Out of everything I have written thus far, it's the one where I've dug deepest into something that will not let me go and really laid it out there, so it's a little intimidating to share it with the world in that regard.  The story is that of a girl, comes around to my understanding of the situation, and goes back to the story; however, I could be and have been that girl.  Most days I still am.  I have my struggles, and being accepted, loved, and supported by people who should hasn't always come naturally to me. (sidenote...sooooo not talking about my husband and kids here...they have been ridiculously supportive of me).

Soooo....check it out on the music page ( www.myspace.com/elitagalvinmusic )

In other news, I just had an awesome afternoon singing the National Anthem at the Sea Dogs game.  Beautiful day for baseball (or any other outdoor activity), and did the best I've done ever on the Star Spangled Banner.  Wahoo!  Many thanks to my husband, kids, Shallon, Beth, Candace, Dave, and Bradyn for coming out to hear me sing and hanging out to watch the game after.  The Sea Dogs won...I'm thinking that maybe they should switch places with the Red Sox, they are certainly playing better!  Some day dreaming and hoping to sing at Fenway.  Who knows, dreams can come true ya know!  ;)

For those who missed it, I sadly do not have the Anthem recorded from this past Sunday's game BUT you still have a chance to hear me sing it live at the New Hampshire Fisher Cats on Thursday, April 28 at 6:30pm...would love to see you there!

<3  Elita

PS  feedback on the teaser definitely encouraged :)

For I Know the Plans

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "
That verse has become very true to me in a very real way in the past week.  Six days ago, I was driving my van on the Spaulding Turnpike headed to drop off some keys to my boss at work and pick the kids up from school.  Out of nowhere, my van started shaking rather violently, so I pulled off the road (thankfully I was already in the right hand lane, as traffic was fairly heavy).  After calling my husband at work and trying to help him figure out what was wrong (I am pretty car illiterate), I sat in my car waiting on AAA and crying out of sheer frustration.  We just spent money fixing this thing in January to get it to pass inspection, plus having to pay for a new battery a few weeks before.  And here I was, on the side of a busy highway, with my van broken down.  Again.  So I sat and prayed and asked the question, "Seriously God, why?". 
Well, now I know why...and that not only had God not left my side, but He had protected me in a huge way.  What I didn't realize at the time was that the back rear axle of my van had cracked almost clear through right down the middle.  By all rights, my tires should have popped off and I should have rolled, going approx. 65 mph, into oncoming traffic.  I should not have been able to steer the van off the road, and by all accounts (AAA, car dealership, etc.), I should have been killed.  Then add in that I was less than a mile from being up on the bridge over the ocean, where I would have had no place to go even being able to pull over.  You get the picture...my guardian angels were definitely on duty with extra coverage.
Now, my van is beyond repair, and because the axle was under recall (side note:  if you know anyone with a 98-03 Ford Windstar in a cold weather state, PLEASE make them go get their vehicle checked at their nearest Ford dealership), and we are now looking for a new, safe van for a low price, as we can't afford much.
But here's the thing...I know, that I know, that I KNOW, that I was spared for a purpose.  But it is a hugely weird feeling to reconcile being told you shouldn't be alive, knowing that you are beyond blessed to even be breathing, or hugging your kids, or kissing your spouse, with KNOWING that I am here because I am supposed to be.  I'm not exactly sure why I am supposed to be here, but I trust God to reveal that to me.  After all, He has already more than proven this week that His plans are for my PROTECTION from harm, to prosper me and give me a FUTURE that nothing, not even a broken axle, can take away. 

Not Myself Lately

So recently I had the experience of spending time around an invidual who I just for whatever reason am not myself around.  I think we all have people in our lives who for whatever reason seem to draw the worst out of us, and I believe the majority of the time it has much more to do with us than it does them.  But the point is, I was not feeling like myself at all, instead I was feeling like the worst version of myself and couldn't seem to snap out of it.  And that alone drove me crazy.  What the heck was wrong with me?  Why couldn't I just be my normal, generally happy self? 
This question was still niggling at me Sunday morning as I arrived at church for our pre-service rehearsal at the crack of 7 am, bleary-eyed and struggling a bit to wake up (side note:  thank heavens for DD's ice coffee!!).  And I was still feeling somewhat out of sorts from wrestling with the question and being irritated with myself. 
One of the songs we were singing that day was "Lead Me to the Cross".  As I was listening to Caroline lead us in the song, one of the phrases hit me like a lightning bolt...."rid me of myself, I belong to You".  Whoa.  Right then and there it occured to me that my problem was not that I was not feeling or acting like myself.  Quite the opposite.  I was feeling and acting EXACTLY like myself.  The self that exists outside of allowing God to fill me and lead me. 
I don't need to be more like me.  Left to my own devices, I am not naturally gracious or kind or patient.  I am, to be honest, a miserable person to be and to be around.  I don't need to be more like me. I need to be more like Him.  John 3:30 says "He must become greater; I must become less".  And the more I pondered it, the more it occured to me how backwards I had it.  I am fallen, a sinner, and on my own not a lovely person.  But every time I allow God to fill me, to "clean house" on any area of my life He chooses, I become more like Him.  He is gracious.  He is kind and merciful, patient and forgiving.  If I want to be those things, I don't need to be more like myself.  I want to be more like Him.

Playing in the Middle

I was driving my car to church Sunday morning, listening to Air1 on the radio (now that I've figured out what it is) and I heard this little snippet that's been rumbling around in my brain the last 48 or so hours.  It has to do with playing in the middle of the road.
We all know it is a dangerous thing to play in the middle of the road.  Especially in a busy street.  Take downtown where I live....busy almost all the time, and fairly narrow for a road that sees as much traffic as it does.  Add in several downtown shops, a couple restaurants, a school, couple of churches, etc.  Now add in all the people who walk up and down the sidewalk all day...taking kids to school, running errands, paying their oil bill, whatever their errand might be.  Nobody in their right mind would ever think to walk down the yellow line of Main Street to get to their destination.  Frankly, they wouldn't reach their destination because the odds are extremely high that they would be hit by any manner of vehicle...car, van, even a tractor trailer truck.  And even if they were fortunate enough to get missed, the fear of being hit alone can be crippling.  Nobody would purposely choose to do that (unless they were certifiably insane).
But what of our spiritual life?  In Revelation 3:15, Jesus says "I know your deeds, that you are neither hot nor cold.  I wish you were one or the other".  In our spiritual life, how often do we play in the middle of the road?  Sure we believe in God, but we're not really so sure we can trust Him, and we still aren't convinced that walking His way is the only way.  We know we aren't supposed to walk with the world, but we aren't 100% walking with God either.  So we play in the middle of the road, thinking that we are smart enough to see or hear the car bearing down on us  and surely we can get out of the way on time.  And God is gracious, of course He will take us back and heal our wounds.  So off we go, playing in the middle of the road even though we know it's a dangerous place to play.  Our parents taught us to pick a side to walk on.  God told us He'd rather we be hot or cold than lukewarm.   Yet we go on playing in the middle of the road.
The saddest thing to me is how we have it all worked out in our head how God is gracious and we'll turn back to Him and He'll heal us and it will be fine.  But if we are honest most of the time when we inevitably find ourselves either grazed or hit smack dab with disaster, that plan goes out the window and we blame God and ask Him where He was, like He was the one Who let us down and didn't protect us, when we were the ones who chose to play in the middle of the road.  He told us not too.  We didn't listen.  Yet we blame Him like it's His fault.  Sure, He could have stopped us from playing in the middle of the road.  He could have forced us to walk in His paths.  But then again, if He forced us, He would no longer be a gracious God but a dictator.  He is kind enough to give us the choice.  And we blame Him when the consequences of not obeying strike us.  Even though we were right where we were told and warned repeatedly not to be...playing in the middle of the road.