Monday, March 28, 2011

For I Know the Plans

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. "
That verse has become very true to me in a very real way in the past week.  Six days ago, I was driving my van on the Spaulding Turnpike headed to drop off some keys to my boss at work and pick the kids up from school.  Out of nowhere, my van started shaking rather violently, so I pulled off the road (thankfully I was already in the right hand lane, as traffic was fairly heavy).  After calling my husband at work and trying to help him figure out what was wrong (I am pretty car illiterate), I sat in my car waiting on AAA and crying out of sheer frustration.  We just spent money fixing this thing in January to get it to pass inspection, plus having to pay for a new battery a few weeks before.  And here I was, on the side of a busy highway, with my van broken down.  Again.  So I sat and prayed and asked the question, "Seriously God, why?". 
Well, now I know why...and that not only had God not left my side, but He had protected me in a huge way.  What I didn't realize at the time was that the back rear axle of my van had cracked almost clear through right down the middle.  By all rights, my tires should have popped off and I should have rolled, going approx. 65 mph, into oncoming traffic.  I should not have been able to steer the van off the road, and by all accounts (AAA, car dealership, etc.), I should have been killed.  Then add in that I was less than a mile from being up on the bridge over the ocean, where I would have had no place to go even being able to pull over.  You get the guardian angels were definitely on duty with extra coverage.
Now, my van is beyond repair, and because the axle was under recall (side note:  if you know anyone with a 98-03 Ford Windstar in a cold weather state, PLEASE make them go get their vehicle checked at their nearest Ford dealership), and we are now looking for a new, safe van for a low price, as we can't afford much.
But here's the thing...I know, that I know, that I KNOW, that I was spared for a purpose.  But it is a hugely weird feeling to reconcile being told you shouldn't be alive, knowing that you are beyond blessed to even be breathing, or hugging your kids, or kissing your spouse, with KNOWING that I am here because I am supposed to be.  I'm not exactly sure why I am supposed to be here, but I trust God to reveal that to me.  After all, He has already more than proven this week that His plans are for my PROTECTION from harm, to prosper me and give me a FUTURE that nothing, not even a broken axle, can take away.